The tide was supposed to be high around 6ish tonight. My surfboard has now been relocated to my lab (yes, how cool is that) because for some reason that I have not completely figured out, the surf shack, where we stored our boards has been dismantled. I even helped tear it down. I walked out to the spot tonight, carrying my board wearing the shorts that I changed into. My inner surf coach told me it was too big for me, just from listening to the waves break on the reef beyond the scrubby trees. It was way too big for me, however I saw a couple of smaller sets come in and went for it. I got on my 9 ft board and started paddling out there. The further out I got (it takes about 20 mins sometimes to get out, especially when its big) it became a "well I'll get some exercise paddling because surfing is not going to happen" deal. Sometimes I have really bad ideas, especially when I don't listen to my first instinct.
I am so so happy I made it back to shore without getting the hell beat out of me. It was as big as I've ever seen it. I can't describe the feelings I was having out there. Halfway out, I thought ..no way...I'll just stay inside the breakers and ride the foam for a while. Riding the foam just means you stay well inside the breaking waves and wait for the boiling incredibly fast water to come take you. Usually, its coming so fast it's hard to get up on the board all balanced. If you fall though, it doesn't slam you into the reef.
It calmed for a bit and I got it in my head that I needed to be out there. Out there, meaning past the breaking waves. I made it. I made it free and clear. Its usually not "free and clear" when its big like that. Waves are scary. I might have made it out all nice and shiny, but after getting out there, the bigger sets started coming in. The guy I bought my board from, John, was out there. I was out past him. That usually makes me feel safe, being out a hundred feet or so past a really experienced surfer because he wants to time it so the wave is breaking just as he has enough speed to stand up. It didn't make me feel so safe. The massive 15 ft walls of water rolling towards me, scared the crap out of me. Even though John is way past me, where the wave is going to break after him, I still paddled like a devil out to the open ocean to avoid that massive wall of water breaking on me.
I did finally pick a good moment to paddle back in. It's kind of similar to running through the black forest at night sensing that something is chasing you. In fact, you know its chasing you, you just can't see it so easy. Of course you're running with your arms instead your much stronger and faster legs, and the "something" chasing you is really fast and definitely can appear out of no where. The last time I had this feeling was in my early twenties when still living at my parents house mostly in the country. I would come home at night from school at 10pm or so and get on my bike and ride 30 miles in a very rural area. I could hear the dogs coming, they barked when I approached, they barked closer as I entered their territory. I knew they were coming. I didn't know how many, how big, how determined they were....I just peddled my ass off. Very similar.
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