Halloween night 2016

A week or so ago, Jobe and Amber came up with the idea of going to Ebeye and pass out Halloween candy.  Their thinking was, besides that the Marshallese are great people, that all the kids over there want to come to Kwaj for Halloween, but only a small handful, like 100 including the parents, get to come here to collect candy on Halloween.  So they said we should get some people and go over there.

Ebeye used to and may still hold the title "most densely populated place on earth".  I think I read once 15,000 people on 90 acres.  Along with that, if I recall, the percentage of preteen children was like 65%.  That's a lot of kids.  I've not spent enough time over there, a mere two hours in two years.  It reminded me of Nogales Mexico.  A dilapidated little border town.  The homes are pieces together out of plywood of various colors and degrees of solidness.  The roofs are similar but usually made of some kind of metal.  Everything is pieced together.  Its dirty, streets are filled with bits of trash, and random dogs are walking around.  The dogs all look very similar but amazingly healthy.  The streets are narrow , but two cars can still pass between the ones that have curbs.  Some of the streets have pavement, and some of the buildings are built well.

I don't know what I spent on candy, but 12 bags of jolley ranchers, starbursts, twizzlers all individually wrapped filled up the one piece of luggage I'll be living out of for the next month on vacation.  Jobe ordered 16 pounds of candy from Amazon.  The 4 others had some, but not quite the amount we had.  In total we probably had 50lbs all together between the 8 of us.  Amber suggested we get a "taxi", which is a small pickup truck, and ride around in the back of it throwing the candy out.  Great, Great plan.  We would have been swamped and smothered by all this kids if we tried to just walk around.  With the truck we were able to stay in front of them a little.  It was like we created a little midget Zombie apocalypse.  The "zombies" weren't the "Walking Dead" version, they were so more nimble and quick like the "World War Z" zombies, except they were the cutest little zombies you have ever seen.

On the ferry to Ebeye, CaCaro is the Marshallese guy with the yellow stripes on his shoulder.  He can operate any piece of equipment.  Jokin, has his back to us.

Just before Halloween....2016

This is outside of the family and  friends and people I miss.   I heard a cricket in a movie I was watching.  Its strange how the senses pick up on things and root them deeply in your head. 

The awesome sounds of crickets on a warm summer night in Ohio.  Everywhere they keep calling to each other.  Lightning bugs fly around in august with little beacons of random yellow dim light.  The heat of the day is gone and 70 degrees feels cool.  Bats flutter around, or rather the silhouettes of bats fly around sporadically eating mosquitos.  Stars are everywhere.  The air smells earthy.  It smells like organic.  Saying it smells like decomposing organic material isn't the right description even though it is exactly the right description.  The summer daytime clouds are like popcorn everywhere, sometimes the kernels are really big, but mostly they are scattered about and small, unless there is a front coming in.  The smell of grass after its been cut, it smells like that a lot in August.  In late October, the smell of burning leaves or burning hardwood is incredible, when backed up with some cooler temperatures.  There's dust there too in August.  All the organic material  breaks down to smaller and lighter particles than  here.  There is also more activity to kick up dust there.  Big tractors harvesting, cars everywhere going fast, pollen from all the trees that make it soo green in the summer.  The lack of water holding every little particle down.  Late summer and fall are gorgeous in Ohio.  So much an attack on the senses.

The smell of the air out here is pretty much the same all the time.  It can only be described as clean.  There isn't a scent to the air here.  Probably because there is nothing in the air here except salt, which doesn't seem to have a detectable odor.  This may take away from the poetic nature of everything else I've just written, but because the air is so clean here, you don't get boogers.  You blow your nose in Ohio in the summertime, or mainly anytime, and the color of what comes out is not clear.  It's clear here, and there are no "eye boogers".  Apparently, the price of all those beautiful smells in Ohio is boogers.  I guess this is my salute to Ohio boogers. 

The clouds here are completely different.  Much like popcorn, but huge HUGE Kernels, at least in summer and late fall.  Winter is the windy season.  The clouds blow by so quick they are hard to judge on beauty in winter.  So the rain moves thru quick in the winter because the clouds do.  In the summer and late fall, which we happen to be still in..in late October, the winds are very light, so the clouds build.  They build so high that when the sun goes down they are still high enough to hang on to the light 'til the very last minute before dark sets in.  The sunsets are amazing.  AMAZING...and they last forever.  The sunrises are no less amazing but I don't have enough experience with them to comment too much.  Its the clouds that go so high and hold the orange light of the sun coming up.  My discovery out here of beauty has been the underwater world.  Snorkeling.  Snorkeling while holding a spear gun.  Its the most relaxing thing I've ever done.  Its soo quiet.  The only noise you hear is your breath and the crackling of the coral.  Listening to your breath while getting relaxed snorkeling is like what they always have tried to teach me in the random yoga classes I've been to. 

This is the strangest life I've ever known.

Early October...

I received an email from someone from my past.  I used to be an organizer for a group in Columbus Ohio that did outdoorsy things.  In my beginning to the group it was mainly winter hikes and football.  Spring came around and someone told me about ultimate Frisbee.  I was very new to the group and now understand what being new to a group is.  Its the same on this island, it was the same then.  You have to put your time in, you have to be sane enough for a while to be trusted...

So, because of my sanity, and general good nature they began to trust me and made me a leader of the clan.  Group...clan..whatever.  So 3000 online members were part of this clan, with around 400 maybe being randomly active in it with the hikes, the football, the ultimate Frisbee, and a few other social outdoor deals.  I swear I only met one jerk, and he wasn't an jerk all the time.  The worst of them were just a bit off, and they were very few and far between.  I met a girl who spoke a language of some south African tribe that only  1000 people in the world spoke.  Maybe she was bullshitting, but it was a good sell.  She worked at a grocery store stocking shelves, but had no lacking of articulation, and had the slightly over 40 graying hair a woman would have if her hair isn't one of her main concerns.  She was interesting.

Please, keep this in mind as you read the email(s) from one of the girls from this group.  I do not mean to ridicule, humiliate, or anything like that.  I hope that if she ever finds this blog that I respect the hell out of her because she is only trying to help me.  That being said ...this is the strangest life I will ever know:

ben,
I hope you are well and happy.
Still failing to attend frisbee-it never was my life, but boy did I learn a lot. More so not playing frisbee, but volleyball and football. I finally up and quit meetup after Dave Koczur asked me to join the Mafia group. Oh the good old days... Fun times. And your love of elipses...
Something bad is going on and I just can't put my finger on it. It's already been a bad year for me and I feel it's only going to get worse. Seeing too many familiar faces lately. A vision of you in a meeting and being stressed. Hector was in town but didn't catch up, saw John Alfaro at the theater and ran into Brian Fulcher at Deweys Pizza.
And, instead of going to visit friends in Phoenix I suddenly decided I'm going to Colorado. The Denver airport and those murals! Yikes! And Peterson AFB.
Day of Atonement is Oct. 12.
So, I wanted to say I'm sorry for what happened. I wasn't prepared for that at all. Clearly, you knew. I guess I know things I'd rather not, but I wouldn't be where I am or the person I am today.
Lots of books are very informative, helpful and familiar-I especially enjoyed Heiser's The Facade and The Portent recently. Mind control, operation Paperclip, implants, The Watchers, nanotechnology and more all in the story line.
Also, just to be clear-I never said I hated you, I said I hated the SETUP.
I actually thought you were funny and kind in your own way. You asked why we never socialized. (Because I was afraid of you and didn't understand what was going on. C4ISR) We aren't so different and that's probably why so many Columbus Outdoor Adventurers questioned why I didn't like you, which wasn't the case.
I admit I didn't understand nor appreciate your toes to the bar fall as I was incapacitated at work that Friday for at least an hour and your poison ivy fun gathering wood and I had itchy arms when going skiing in Lake Tahoe with friends who questioned why I kept itching my arms raw-so not funny! I still don't get how that happened to me, too.
Anyways, I think in a different world we probably would have socialized, had fun adventures and been good friends.
Take care and may you have many fun adventures,


Toes to the bar fall, refers to me breaking some ribs doing an exercise on faulty equipment I built in my Harn.  I don't remember her ever going on a camping trip with me, and gathering firewood.  I don't know what C4ISR is either.  This email came out of the blue, completely.  I only remember her as someone I defended against the one jerk in the group.  This could be entertaining only for me, but this blog is basically my journal, not that I ever reread the original journal....so my response:

Hi,

 Me in a meeting getting stressed?  lol.  I don't get stressed, especially now.  Sorry to hear you're having a bad year, but you can't say "it's only going to get worse".  Stay positive, it works. 

I'm not certain what you're apologizing for, I vaguely remember you being a little standoffish, but I can't recall what it was about...unless it had something to do with David Savage.  I don't remember you saying or anyone telling me that you hated me, I just remember some bad looks, and wasn't exactly sure why, so clearly I didn't know.

I'd love to hear what you thought I knew...gossip is fun sometimes.

why are you having a day of atonement?  what did you do wrong?

I'm no longer in columbus.  I left two years ago to go to work on a island in the south pacific, where it turns out, I belong :).  I still have 2 houses in Columbus..so maybe in a few more years I may come back, but I doubt it...I love the water too much....

And...her response.....and whoever may be reading this...its for me...because....well...I guess its like taking a picture...

You don't remember anything do you? You don't remember telling me you were moving? Goodness, maybe if you have a DVD player there in your paradise you can watch The Manchurian Candidate. Do some hard thinking. I'm glad if you don't know, but I always disagreed with my former coworkers ignorance is bliss attitude. What you don't know can hurt you. Think hive mind, mass mind control, artificial telepathy, Neurophone, psychotronics. If you start to feel triggers or confused then stop. That's mind control programming.
I've really had to do lots of research and this stuff is crazy what they're doing. Read the book Operation Paperclip by Jacobsen - the nazis were recruited here to US by OSS now called CIA. The crazy human experimentation never stopped.
I've been to Alaska but didn't get to see HAARP-look that one up, too. I was sad I didn't see the aurora, but I did see what seemed like electrified air.
Gossip about what I think you know. I can't say for sure what you know, but I'll tell you what I know:
Your brain is like a fingerprint, your activity unique to you. Brain to brain communication, artificial telepathy. Look it up if as you must have computer access and got my email. (I confirmed this with someone who works at Battelle on DARPA projects.)
You don't remember working on a patch up project on 315 and turning to watch me drive by? Don't remember the military people and all the people coming out of the woodwork going to meet ups. I ran into George and Joanna at the farmers market and got an "oh no, oh no" message on my phone. Actually, my phone has been hacked regularly for some time so that wasn't a big surprise.
I don't know why but you guys just kept bleeding me CIA secrets during football. I don't even really like football I was just so intrigued by what was going on and you were like a magnet and the weird music stuff and is talking through comments. Made no sense. I had fun and it was exercise, but not why I went. Seriously, that's how I knew what I found out after I stopped going to meetup. You and your hand signals XO those awful people at XO communications making a mess at my work. Peter Pan. Operation Peter Pan mind control and Cuban children. I had to really do research. I mean I've seen a picture of you as a child and I can't figure out where or why. I still don't get it.
I was a trip to Lake Tahoe with friends and when I was there my forearms itched. I thought maybe I had a reaction to laundry detergent chemicals, but when you said you had poison ivy I knew. You fell at toes to the bar and all I knew was something happened and you were unconscious. Because of it, I too was affected and couldn't think straight. I knew something had happened to you. I think we were part of some black project, a CIA whistleblower project or we've been set up in some weird family bloodlines thing by Masons. I simply don't know which might be true.
I wasn't standoffish-I was actually quite friendly. I never introduced myself to you because I recognized you, but I never figured out how. I definitely knew you and only recognized you. From the very first frisbee game something weird was going on. I remember you running into me telling me I was going in the wrong direction playing frisbee and I was going the right way only I was thinking in my mind it was Aaron Deal working on something for Battelle.
Booz Allen Hamilton (think Snowden) contracts with the Air Force in black projects. Bases are plentiful in Colorado and I saw Andrew from frisbee whom I also ran into on the bike path two rows in front of me last year at red rocks concert toking it up with a group. 
Eugenics now called genetics-David Savage blurted that out at vertical adventures and I suspect that's the reason they picked us. I don't know, there's lots I never figured out. 
David Savage was always so troubled, but maybe it was because he knew too much. Very dark and I got lots of dirty looks from him. Very troubled soul.
My looks at you were because I was always trying to figure out what was going on. That staredown at Antrim when I asked in my mind who it was look at me and it was you and you looked at David Savage to make sure he saw us and then the very weird and long staredown. 
I didn't do anything awful except maybe grow up in the wrong family-Masons.
Day of Atonement well not because I've done something bad. I'm a sinner like everyone else, but haven't done anything really awful. At least not that I know of. Actually, from what I've found lots of other people have and like the devil comes to collect, God comes to punish. He also saves so not to sound so much like that.
You really don't remember?
BRANDON ring a bell? I mean I got that email.
I had hoped you'd retire. I'd prayed for you to get out. Still pray for you often. Some friends and coworkers say how I've gotten free and they hope they can. I see the world differently and I'm thankful to know the truth even if the rabbit hole goes down a long ways.
I've made a change myself and it's funny you guys thought I was in fashion and I am now. God is good. I feel blessed.
Mike     and his special skills? Oh well. You have a tabula rosa so good for you- I think.
You're probably out surfing and swimming all day so that's great! :-)
I'm baffled, but I'm glad you're doing so well. Not baffled you're doing well, but that you seem to know nothing.
I'll keep praying everything works out for all of us. God is good always.
I'm happy to answer questions or help if I can.

my response to her email...and yes I do feel slightly guilty making this public:

I've seen the Manchurian candidate.....It doesn't apply to me.

Life is good out here.  I do surf, finally I've gotten good at it.  I even organized ultimate Frisbee games here.  Sometimes the military guys play.  I like outrunning them.  Snorkelling ..well..spearfishing is my new favorite deal.

I do have a lot of questions...because I don't really remember a lot when you were around...

BRANDON rang no bells

her reply:

You live in an island that also has a bunch of military people. Oh my. 

Snorkeling is a favorite of mine. Went to John Pennekamp last year on key largo and the best I've done since they opened the cruise port at Turks and Caicos. Saw two sharks because it was overcast. I've never been surfing, but I'm not sure I would be so good at it after trying snowboarding. Lots of bruises! 

My great grandfather liked spear fishing. 

Yeah, you always liked outrunning people. I don't know why. You were trying to race me one day. It was funny I knew exactly what your were trying to do. I'm a slow runner overall, but could sprint quickly. 

I always felt like I was in training. But training for what exactly I'm not sure.

I've always been sensitive to things, had premonitions, maybe what one would call high Psi and I think we were used as remote viewers or something. Maybe parapsychology. I don't know. I remember Pete asking me if I had a premonition before playing sand volleyball with you. So strange. 

Of course you don't remember. I saw you all the time and you don't remember anything. It was like people constantly trying to get us together and you pointing at yourself and me and implying something. You giving me a thumbs up making sure I was ok and calling yourself superman and me superwoman. I corrected you-wonder woman not superwoman. It's fascinating you have no idea. 

One time at football Steve Kelly mentioned Wright Field (precursor to wright-patt) so that is involved somehow. 

Do you remember your crazy girlfriend Tracy? My older sister and her got along well for a time-out of control alcoholics. 

Chris Mahin do you remember him? 

You don't remember taking pictures of people playing frisbee and posting them on the COA website on "who's helping and not helping"? 

I'd say based on one game at Tuttle when you left cause "your knees hurt" and I asked Shauna Sergeant where they were going "they had to go work some other muscles." I'd say Shauna, Mike Bond, Aaron Deal and Dan Baker and someone else all left right after you to work on whatever it was they aimed to achieve. Very strange. The rest of us stayed and played and had fun. 

Remember Shauna's boyfriend Drew was an Air Force boy and into physics? Jack Bradley an army vet? Then there was the OU professor, David, who told me he used to work for the white house but didn't know my photo professor Marcie who was part of the white house press Corp. However, he did know fellow political science professor Tom Walker, an ex cia guy I interviewed for a journalism class in college. He also had lots of computer coding skills, which I thought was odd. 

Drew disappeared for quite some time, too, and you joked he was on the back of a milk carton. I remember we went camping and him and Shauna didn't seem to get along so well. 

It was always strange. I mean weird beyond comprehension. 

I tried very hard to make you pay attention. Especially when we went to have drinks at the little bar. You seemed to for a minute question what was going on looking out the window, but I don't know. 

I've never figured out exactly who was doing it or why. Military collusion with evil via Col. Michael Aquino maybe. 

 I've read books where other people say similar things happened to them. I feel it was some sort of weird brainwashing about climate change and aliens. I don't believe in aliens, only fallen angels and the watchers. I learned about the nefilim because of you. I had no idea! For years misunderstood Genesis 6 in the bible and the flood, Goliath, giants and Canaanites. 

I guess I'll just consider it an experience and be glad for what I've learned. 

Work became weird, too. My boss always talking about delta, no delta and black magick. (Alpha, beta, delta, theta brainwaves) A coworker later told me after I quit it's the twilight zone and like they're playing a game she doesn't know how to play. Pretty spot on for how I felt. 

The person I know at Battelle did tell me they were working to erase memories. You know, to help with PTSD-yeah right. It won't help-just put the awful memories and guilt they feel into their subconscious and make them more screwed up.

You've watched the Manchurian Candidate and you don't think at all maybe you have been brainwashed and mind controlled, because I know I have and you were part of it. Sorry you don't remember, but maybe that's good. 

There are so many things I remember and you don't. It's weird. Really should read "the facade" and "the portent" in your downtime. 

Looking back, I guess it was an answer to a prayer. Over the years, I prayed not to be deceived when the time was near. It's amazing what I know now that I had no clue about 4 years ago. You opened my eyes to a world I didn't know existed. So much I had to figure out and learn about. So, for that I am thankful. 

Like I said, I'll answer any questions you have. 

I'd give her the biggest hug if I saw her tomorrow.  Strangest life I've ever known.